For some reason I always feel the need to do something after every performance. I'm not content with just going home, even though I am tired and need sleep. So I guess I'm trying to fill that void with the computer. I type my thoughts to replace talking to someone. But perhaps talking to someone would spoil my fun, unless they were an intelligent, humorous individual.

Anyway, I'm not sure what to do at the moment. I absolutely hate it when my mom reads over my shoulder. I guess I just don't want her to read this, like I wouldn't want her to read my journal.

I feel like being an insomniac. Which probably wouldn't be a good idea, because I ought to finish my homework I've been putting off for a week and a half. I love faraway deadlines. Maybe I should draw until the early hours of the morning just to feel like I'm doing something good for my soul.

I think I'm avoiding my current issue. So again tonight I hang around so I can talk to D. He did say we were going to go out sometime, and I guess I wanted to know what he thought about it. We talk for 2 minutes on the way to our cars, and he asks for my e-mail. I guess that's part of the reason why I'm on the computer, incase he might add me to msn or something. But no avail. I'm hating my position in this situation. I hate being the one who wants it more, which is the vibe I'm getting. I guess that's because I think I'm more vunerable, which is the last thing I want. God dammit, I wish I knew what he thought of this. I feel like I'm the only one that wants anything to happen, and he's got me wrapped around his finger. He kind of does in a sense. Has he done anything for me? No. I'm the one who brings him pie at intermission. I'll admit its more convient, because I'm the waitress handling food. But did he wait for me, no I waited for him. And he seemed to be moving pretty slowly. I should play hard to get or something....or atleast wait for him to come to me. I don't want to be in this position.

2 more shows, and then I potentially won't see him again. Hopefully that won't happen. I think things might get better after our date (whenever that might happen). We've hardly talked to each other just because of circumstances. But whenever we do conversation flows pretty easily.

Well, I suppose I should get some sleep....or pretend to. Homework and another performance await me tomorrow. And the cast party. He said he was going....hmmm?