Trying to do some pre-write thing. I have to write a whole bunch of essays....basically 1 essay, 2 intro hooks/ conclusions....and a big ass paper. I'm just trying to write off the top of my head to get myself in the frame of mind.

Thoughts to get out of my mind: I'm plagued by what to do about D. I found his e-mail in a mass e-mail to the cast. I'm wondering if I should add him to messenger first. Well, I probably shouldn't.....once again don't want to be the vunerable trying too hard one. Maybe I'll be able to talk to him at the cast party tonight. I hate his nonchalance about this, or rather I envy him for it. I wish I could be nonchalant about it. I guess this lack of people interaction is getting to me. Maybe I should strengthen my friendships....I only see them in school, and even then we just eat lunch with each other or talk in between classes.

I'm so closed off from people I'm focusing my energy on him. This is bad- I think it has something to do with the emotional baggage of the last breakup/ relationship. I keep having these dreams of making out with boys. I had one about J (my ex) sometime last week. It was basically like what we used to do, except in someplace I'd never been to. All I remember is the room was blue. I think it was a bedroom.....J's room was red, it couldn't have been the same place. Then I had that dream about B, and another about P. Strange, I can't remember having any dreams about kissing boys before, then suddenly they all happen in 3 weeks. What does that mean? Am I starved for affection or something?

Well, I suppose I should start writing my stupid essays/ papers. It really shouldn't be so bad as long as I don't have writer's block.