Countdown to departure: 6 days.

Ah, the lazy days of summer. I can't seem to remember doing anything, yet all the same I'm tired and felt busy by the end of the day. If I've been bored, that's quickly elasped. Some mystery of summer. I went on a random buying spree today. Nice luggage, men's pajama pants, stuff from target....I realized I live very much in the present right now. When I'm alone with my thoughts I'm no longer plagued by what I have to get done. No, instead they often drift towards A and that feeling of warmth he told me about long ago when I was still afraid of love, sets in.

I'm thinking back to that conversation. I can't remember where it happened. Perhaps I was in Boston, chatting over msn....or was it a phone conversation when I returned? I was still afraid of love because of what broke me and made me vunerable last summer. I was slow to love because of that fear. I asked A, how do you know if its love? His answer will stick with me forever. "Lust feels like something sharp, a point, and it will eventually subside at about 2 weeks. Love, on the the other hand, feels round. You think about that person and you don't just want them or long for their presence. Instead you feel warm and content. But in reality, you'll never truly know you love them until after you have parted."

Material things that made me happy today:
1. colorful beaded necklaces
2. men's pajama pants
3. novels
4. cheese and crackers