My invisible list continues to be checked off: baccalaurette, band concert,last real day of school, dance recital, and soon enough- senior campout, finals, grad practice, graduation, open houses, memorial day concert.....fin de siche, the end of an era....for better for worse, but its time to move on.

i find it strange after all of this end of the year stuff I then turn 18, as if the progression to my age of adulthood would be complete after this high school stuff. just an irony.

it hasn't hit me yet...i don't know when it will, perhaps when its all over. i've had moments: end of mock trial, wizard cast party, being at A's concerts, today when it was the last time i sang with the sr choir, that car ride home from morris friday night... slowly, its coming.

its funny, i got into a somewhat indepth conversation with B yesterday during the dance recital...A had temporarily left for some reason. we got of the subject of me dating A and if i always date sophomores (no). for some reason i found myself telling her i could marry him, in 5 years, 8, 10 years...not now. right now is not the time in my life for deep commitment, now is a time for independence and carving my own identity. it was odd to have expressed that sentiment, the fact that it came out unconciously means this is real.