Here I am 3 days later and still confined to this prison of poor health I call my body. This must be what I get, after so much abuse the resilience finally ran out. It collapsed, taking me with it and refusing to get up for almost a full week. The end is currently not in my sight, those I hope I will reach the end of this depressing tunnel soon. Its removed me from my life and in between my fits of sleep and vegetative state in front of the television, I face my fears. These fears are different and somewhat paranoid....concerning my health and perhaps it is something bigger than anyone has failed to notice. I know they're stupid and probably not true, nevertheless they're there. I still fear not being able to pick myself up in the small amount of time I have been now and grad. I still fear academic failure. I still fear failing others, and I already have.

I wish I could take a syringe and drain the toxins out of my body. Inject it into the base of my skull and remove whatever's causing the unending pressure. Inject it into my neck below each ear, into the span of my forehead.....I wish I could massage the pain out of my muscles in my neck, back, and shoulders. But I can't so instead I sleep, hoping the pain will disapate through slumber. It doesn't.

But at the moment I'm feeling better so I could finish my autobiography. My delema is I want to reflect on my life now and I'm currently only up to 1st grade. For some reason, elementary school has become a blur...one that I don't want to try to recover and if I did I didn't get a whole lot out of it. So perhaps, I'll just summarize it and highlight the important points. I suppose I should touch on my brush with popularity in 3rd and 4th grade and some other facts that shaped my life....piano, girl scouts, the former athlete, jr. choir....they are important parts...as much as I want to reflect on my life in high school.