found it

i came across a topic for my paper...one that is quite a bit personal, but i'm going to go through the feelings i've been supressing. i'm going to talk about how A impacted my life....cause and effect.

i'm prodding a wound...opening this up will not be easy, but it is something i want to do...going back to old posts...how i felt firsthand....remembering it all: the beginning, the good, the bad, the renewal, the emotions that ran through my head.....and why i ran away from it

why did i run? i know why....and nothing would change me from doing it....but even so, i wish things had happened differently. he meant so much to me, and now that i reflect on it a part of it is still there....i don't think this part will ever go away, just because of the history we have. i gave him my soul and everything that was running through my head for half a year. i called him my best friend....what happens now that i took it all back and cut him off?

maybe i've cut myself off in the process....i've felt like that lately....that a part of me is missing and i can't seem to get beyond the darkness of the cave (plato reference...yeah!) i'm taking down my protective walls that helped me move on....well, it's time to truely move on.