I've alluded exhaustion for almost 5 days. For some reason, this past week brought back habits I haven't had since 2nd year slh.....late night work, early rising....endless work all day....must finish, must do well....only one week, it will all be over soon.

my massive 7+ final paper is finished....i've taken my world religions final and got a good grade, i finished my poster and tc wants to keep it...i did my assignment for tuesday in a class i haven't even started because i'll be in trial all day.

life is good, my guilt and obligations are freed.....and fatigue finally envelopes me.

in the midst of my work, i haven't been writing as frequently, despite being on the computer for 4 or more hours every night this week.

My paper involved historical research pertaining to the Industrial Revolution in the last 20 year of the nineteenth century. my mom, the history major, was a good discussion about general ideas. i like discussing subjects with people much better than reading it in a textbook. i get interesting conversation with helpful info. so i decide to inquire to my favorite social studies teacher, tc....i spend the last 20 minutes of his prep discussing industry, socialism, and various ways of living and understanding life in a capitalist society. we ended up on a very interesting point- the denial behind capitalism, by this i mean the labor in third world conditions with workers hardly being paid, etc. so many people know about these things due to the media and what not, but still choose to not question how a product they bought in a store go there. denial is so much easier because we don't want to make life any more guilty for ourselves.

i'm going to branch off of that- denial - how much does that influence our lives? denial and ignorance....the not knowing and not wanting to know just because we don't want to make life any more complicated. we don't want to make ourselves feel guilty about the things we have, because damnit, we worked hard to get them.

My parents are beckoning for me to join them in the hot tub....i've been so stiff from awkward working positions....this is basically the gist of what i was pondering.