currently on the actor's high....i just came from our first run thru of act 2 which has my main stuff. and of course i went over the top with it to prove i'm the best actor in that entire cast (with the exception of P, P and C) because no one had seen me do the wicked witch before. memorized my lines in 2 hours...*does an arrogant, stuck up gesture*

anyway, i'm going to see A tomorrow- something i'm really looking forward to....i was contemplating my feelings toward him today. i realized if we were 5 years older or something i'd probably live with him and eventually contemplate marriage. but we are in high school...so... i'm not feeling as weird about the LK thing of last night....i do trust him, even though i wasn't particularily fond of what happened last night. as for J, i'm not stupid enough to go back to him. the only thing i would do- bare minimum- is use him like he used me. and it would be better because we both wouldn't expect anything. but i highly doubt i'd do that...maybe if i was really desperate.

but J did teach me a lot, and for that i'm grateful....i guess i'm still taking a gamble on the love thing, but atleast i know this relationship is better for me than my last. i don't really, truly know i love him....but i think that what this feeling is. but i've thrown away my head...so hopefully i'm not confusing love with lust....but i do have something i never had with J, trust....the relationship (to me) is stable and will most likely stay that way....if something happens on either end, we'll work it out and each will be forgiven...and A makes me feel as if i'm on top of the world with nothing to hold me back.

interesting tidbit for the day: i taught 9th grade choir....spent my 20 minutes or so telling the boys to be quiet and singing various parts....i can sing louder than the guys, altos, and sopranos....but then again i'm a soloist and they are freshmen....so maybe my extreme back up plan of being a high school choir teacher is not looking so good....