irony....and how a lot of my life seems to revolve around creative institute. i talked to J for awhile online. we hadn't spoken since the break up. odd, he seemed somewhat remorseful. he said we could be make out buddies or something. previously i would have taken him up on it, if only i could detach myself and not get involved. if we both knew we were using each other it would have been ok. i did tell him I was with A and he sounded happy for me.

speech was odd for a number of reasons. first off was extremely awkward around A in public yet again...very detached and nonresponsive (mock trial word...funny). but then we ended up talking to LK, at which point A flirts/ is extremely friendly with her...and me as well...its as if we're both his gfs. but he could sense i was kind of weirded out by the circumstance, so he favored me a bit more....which i loved him for. the situation was just a bit weird for me....i know he loves me and won't hurt me....but at the same time he still loves LK. something he'll deal with...meanwhile LK seemed pretty happy with the circumstance...and we were on good terms, before we'd been avoiding each other i think.

and it did annoy me that i didn't place...but this meet didn't count and i knew i didn't do well. on the other hand, i'm extremely happy for A...if he hadn't placed i'd probably been extremely pissed off. instead i'll improve it and i have next meet before subsections....i'd like to make it to final round of sections, but i'll see if i can make it so subsections in humerous.

oddly enough i was in a slightly depressed mood when i got home....then J kind of cheered me up....i think it was the kind of closure i needed, to know that he still liked me even though we wouldn't be a good relationship. maybe that wound was still healing after all this time...