here in boston, and i'm not sure what to make of my surroundings. my aunt and my cousin K met us at the airport and took us to dinner....and throughout dinner i kept getting this attitude-like vibe from k.....it's odd really, i know all of this bragging-like info about her extracurriculars and grades. it seems as if my mom and her brother are playing up the "my kid is better" thing. but there's something about her and i can't put my finger on it. i'm hoping it will get better once we get to know each other again. i haven't seen her for 4 years. i just hope i lose this edgy, intimidated feeling. but at the moment i'm feeling very out of place in the house....and also very hick-like...something i'd like to avoid, but feel i can't.

and then there's my other cousin, J who is a 7th grader and the rebel child in the house....into very bad things....and difficult....i sensed it the 10 minutes i was around her just now...yeah, just not getting a very positive interaction vibe from either of them....i'm just not sure what to make of being here. and this isn't a good sign if by some miracle i end up at boston conservatory and come here for long weekends.

i just feel very tense and uneasy....not sure about this....things will be better when mom and i go off on our own for the campus visit tomorrow.