Extremely pissed off because the site I have to do all of my class work is malfunctioning, or perhaps just generally slow because every other procrastinating idiot has my idea. Fuck. So instead of getting much needed work done, I'm venting on a site that is currently working. Christmas vacation is almost half over and I still have to complete 4 and 1/2 lessons, 2 projects, read 2 books, and do my Islam presentation for World Religions (which I haven't even started), memorize mock trial testimony for tuesday, memorize lines for one-act, and memorize both monologues for college auditions. Things I've done so far: completed 3 1/2 lessons, read 2 books, ordered my research material and 4th book from library.

Dammit, I hate school.

It occurs to me that I get upset at any little thing that doesn't matter. I constantly curse at other drivers or whatever when I'm driving.....old people who pull out in front of my and creep slowly. Technology continually seeks ways to make my life miserable. Work piles up, deadlines loom, my laziness triumphs over all. Motivation suddenly exists in my life for a period longer than a few hours...hell, i can manage motivation for a few hours every day of vacation....and then something else goes wrong.

Another weirdness: Mom was talking to me about these things we should do. I'm not sure why I felt so odd about it. I've practically locked myself in the house and have made no attempts to do things with friends. But she wants to see Return of the King with me and go to a concert which are things I was thinking of doing with L or some other friends. I should just go anyway. Its just odd that this bout of junior high attitude towards my mother suddenly hits when I've been rather mature about our relationship for the longest time. Or maybe its just the idea that I have no social life, save my parents. That's probably it....the social activities I've done over vacation: gone to party with Alex theatre crowd (mainly adults) with my parents, family christmas in which i listened to the adults get more intoxicated and make awful comments, church about 3 times this week, spent time at my grandparents house with my parents and visiting uncle from oregon....youngest person in the room. Yeah, the life of the only child. I've hardly spent time with anyone under the age of 40. Ok....

I should make this blog more interesting. I was contemplating this today. I need to make this more than text. Unfortunately, my html skills are lacking so I'm not sure how this is going to work. Something has to take my mind off of the guilt/ anger that I can't work right now.