deathly, deathly cold....good and bad, i guess.....school was 2 hours late today and will be 2 hours late tomorrow....but we curse- 5 years ago the governor cancelled school all over the state due to temperatures at -20 with a -40 wind chill.....it was that bad yesterday and today and will be that bad tomorrow....dammit, Pawlenty. odd though, besides bundling up more than usual, and getting up eariler to plug in my car and running it for 20 minutes before i left school today, i feel like i can battle the cold......god, i'm such a minnesotan. its not that bad...life can still go on, even though if you're outside for more than 5 minutes you're subject to frostbite.

i freeze and thaw with my body......yesterday was odd....we kicked ass at trial (40 power points!), so mom picks me up from school because i don't have a car due to the tire thing the night before.....we talk about dad, later this brings me to tears i don't want to deal with....i'm feeling extremely selfish, but selfish in a good way.....because i don't want to deal with anyone because that would only complicate things.....i don't want to go home and face dad, i just want to crawl into a corner and cry since i can't go to the gym and out run my frustrations on the treadmil....so i go to work and play on the computer until my voice lesson, which makes things a lot better....

good news: went to the ortho today and i get these god awful braces off on the 26th of feb....which means i have them off for 2 of my 3 auditions....i get them off the day i fly to chicago...it will be really odd, because i started taking voice lessons right before i got them, i have no idea how it will be to sing with out them

and yet again i was sent into my self doubt trip....the cast list for wizard of oz won't be posted until 3;00 tomorrow, even though its already cast....but the choir teacher/ music director is horrible at keeping secrets....so i know i'm not dorothy and i know who is....

of course the person who's playing dorothy i never thought to be competition because in my opinion she's the wrong body type and not an extremely strong actress...this is somewhat disappointing, but it got me thinking- maybe my schedule was too demanding (i filled up the entire space with conflicts), maybe they had plenty of girls to play dorothy and no one could cackle- versus i had a damn good read for the wicked witch....so i hope i get the witch or i'll probably go on an ego trip.

and now to the moment of present.....the title of the blog is now true....i am typing in my stage makeup back from the one-act public performance....it was good, but we need to tighten up enterances for competition, i need to slow down and lower my pitch....and sometimes i'm too intense? is what mom told me. i'm too lazy to take off the makeup at the moment, even though i can feel it seeping into my pores

ok, my life as of now...still somewhat superficial, since i haven't been analyzing a whole lot...mainly to save myself