speech subsections today...surprisingly, i did better than anticipated in the beginning of the week...5th place....not bad, considering i didn't think i was good enough to make it as an alternate.....plus my 1st round judge was out to get my school and gave me a shitty ranking with crappy comments not relating to performance at all. basically, i'm looking forward to sections next week because if i work hard i have a chance of getting farther than i've been....possibly make it to final round and dare i say it, state? basically, i have my comic timing and presence. lucky me, i've been able to keep the speech natural, which is something i've struggled with in past. now i just need to work on character development. i have 2 practices this week...one right away with 2 coaches for 25 minutes....and one with someone to help the interp categories...i know her from theatre. if i just work my ass off....maybe....i can almost taste it.

but today was funny because A keep hanging around LK, which i didn't mind because Lk was hanging around cool ppl like LA and this guy from breck, W? yeah...but A, being the horny i need affection guy that he is kept majorly flirting with LK, also LA, but mostly LK....and honestly it didn't bother me....i just don't know how to respond in those situations...actually, i'm just bad at new social situations in general....hmm?...yeah, i stand there like an idiot trying to look like i belong....how strange is that, the actress feels awkward and doesn't feel like she fits in....so do i come off as such....yes, A's told me i'm weird about ppl....

i want to be removed...just for a little bit, to regain my sanity....everything keeps piling on top of me and i haven't had time to catch my breath...odd, how a few months ago i said i'm too detached....but at the moment i want that feeling of seclusion with no obligations for 2 days or something....but alas, no....and even if i could shut out the world right now i wouldn't be able to do it because the things going on in my life mean too much at the moment....i love the play, i love speech, i love spending time with A...school's passable and i'm always gone anyway, 2 more days next week....i haven't had many classes since thursday morning....damned homework in evil econ...

but i must practice if i'm to accompany LP in 40 minutes...yet another commitment